I don't think I'll be keeping this blog going much longer. I tend to use my web site-blog (the slog) as my "update" place and because of that, there's not as much need for this one. And to be honest, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be writing. I've lost the heart. Seriously. I'm burned out. No, not burned out. I enjoyed being busy and writing and promoting and traveling and juggling all of that. But I've discovered something that has made me re-evaluate it all: It's just not worth it.
I'm not getting back in money what I put out in time. Normally that wouldn't bother me. I'd say, "well, next year I'll have a bigger payout. Next year I'll have more books out and people will find me and they'll love my books and ..."
It is next year and it ain't happening. I'm mostly to blame, I think. I don't promote as aggressively as I could. I don't write erotica, which is the hot (excuse the pun) seller. Of course, even there I know some authors are struggling.
Let me hasten to say I don't rely on this income in any way except to pay for itself. My writing pays for the promotion (mostly) that I do -- the trips, the ad space and the printed promo I hand out. But it just about barely pays for that.
But more than the money, it's the sense that there's nothing left for me to do in my writing. It's all more of the same, and I'm afraid that's coming through in the characters and plots and settings. I feel like I'm re-hashing. So I'm going to take a 2 year break (you heard it here first). I have 4 books ready to publish. That's 2 a year for the next 2 years. I'll promote the crap out of those and other back list books and see where that gets me.
In the meantime, I'll go back to that Big Sci Fi book I've been wanting to write for so long--that "end of the world" book that has haunted me for 10 years. I'm going to spend the next 2 years writing that series and exploring other possibilities for where I'll spend my energy. Will I learn a new language? Will I learn to do yoga or some other healthy lifestyle thing? What will capture my passion, my attention, my ambition the way my writing used to do?
That will bring me to the end of 2013. I always said I'd try publishing for 10 years. I said that in 2004. So 2014 will be the year I decide: do I keep at it or stop here?
Only time will tell ...