Craft versus crap

I forgot what it was to Craft a book, not just write one. I'm taking my time, thinking about every word, examining the scene and making sure I have a goal there, making sure the scene is moving the book forward.

I don't do that when I write a mystery. I tend to get the story down quickly then I go back, fluff it up a bit, then I consider it done. Once Kathy has read it, I add more to it, tweaking it here and there. I don't Craft as I go.

But this Big Book has to be done that way, I think. Otherwise it's going to become superficial. And Lord knows, this won't be a superficial series if it works out the way I want it to.

Fingers crossed I can maintain this level of concentration. If I can, I think I'll have a story worth reading...

Good Lord, this is hard

I'm working on my Big Book. Actually, it'll probably turn out to be 5 books or more.

I've been working on this for 5 years I think. I've started innumerable drafts, finished some, tossed some away, started from scratch 5 or 6 times. It's a Big Story -- spanning generations, etc. It's all-consuming when I work on it. These characters take root in my head and just live there for months at a time.

I love working on it but I despair of ever getting it Right. I feel like I'm doomed to always write a rough draft.

Maybe this time.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep writing. Keep writing.

Deep breath... promo

Started on my New Year's Resolution: promotion. I made a foray back onto some loops to post blurbs about my books. I've decided to focus on 3 different books each month. Lord knows, I have enough of them -- 20 at last count.

So I'll post something daily about one or the other of the books. Today I did If Not For You and Mist. An old book and a new book.

Will it make any difference?

Who knows!

I lied

Yep. I'm going to keep this blog going. I'm using it as a record for 2012. I don't expect anything exciting to happen, but a blog is a simple way to keep a record of my doings.

So here we are, Jan. 2: what's happening? I'm trying to decide whether to get a new car. I wrestle with this question often. I buy a car, I love it, then after 2 or 3 years, I want a new car. My husband thinks I should lease because "I can't make up my mind." He just doesn't understand that sometimes a person just wants a change.

So I may go out and test drive some cars today.

On a writing note: I'm not sure what to work on. I think I should write something that I feel like doing, but right now I'm torn between my latest mystery (the Pooh book) or my sci fi series (Booker's book). So I may take a day off and think about it.

Or maybe I'll go to a movie and say to hell with it all for the day! I'm trying to let my spontaneous side out to play...

It's the end of the blog as we know it ...

I don't think I'll be keeping this blog going much longer. I tend to use my web site-blog (the slog) as my "update" place and because of that, there's not as much need for this one. And to be honest, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be writing. I've lost the heart. Seriously. I'm burned out. No, not burned out. I enjoyed being busy and writing and promoting and traveling and juggling all of that. But I've discovered something that has made me re-evaluate it all: It's just not worth it.

I'm not getting back in money what I put out in time. Normally that wouldn't bother me. I'd say, "well, next year I'll have a bigger payout. Next year I'll have more books out and people will find me and they'll love my books and ..."

It is next year and it ain't happening. I'm mostly to blame, I think. I don't promote as aggressively as I could. I don't write erotica, which is the hot (excuse the pun) seller. Of course, even there I know some authors are struggling.

Let me hasten to say I don't rely on this income in any way except to pay for itself. My writing pays for the promotion (mostly) that I do -- the trips, the ad space and the printed promo I hand out. But it just about barely pays for that.

But more than the money, it's the sense that there's nothing left for me to do in my writing. It's all more of the same, and I'm afraid that's coming through in the characters and plots and settings. I feel like I'm re-hashing. So I'm going to take a 2 year break (you heard it here first). I have 4 books ready to publish. That's 2 a year for the next 2 years. I'll promote the crap out of those and other back list books and see where that gets me.

In the meantime, I'll go back to that Big Sci Fi book I've been wanting to write for so long--that "end of the world" book that has haunted me for 10 years. I'm going to spend the next 2 years writing that series and exploring other possibilities for where I'll spend my energy. Will I learn a new language? Will I learn to do yoga or some other healthy lifestyle thing? What will capture my passion, my attention, my ambition the way my writing used to do?

That will bring me to the end of 2013. I always said I'd try publishing for 10 years. I said that in 2004. So 2014 will be the year I decide: do I keep at it or stop here?

Only time will tell ...